I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
