its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
These tits shall not be calmed
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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