I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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