when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
