Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
