ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
