I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
