i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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