What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
