I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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