no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
