Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
