There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
