I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
