i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
