I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
