Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
