Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
