You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize