i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
