Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
