Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
