ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
