I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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