He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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