Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
