ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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