I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
