Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
