I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
