Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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