honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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