In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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