So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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