There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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