Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize