I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
