Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Will exercising make me less horny?
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