I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
