is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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