Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
