Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
