running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
