she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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