Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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