forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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