Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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