Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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