I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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