apparently the secret to your success is patron
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
