His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
