are you still at the devil's house?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
