What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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