life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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