I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
