I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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