new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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