I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
either way he was missing a nipple.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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