i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
