Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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