how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
